Emotions are complex. We are cognitive misers as well (we take mental shortcuts all the time). We can sometimes sense something is off (flight-or-fight response), especially if we are primed to see the warning signs (like reading self-help articles or hearing others' first-hand accounts or similar). However, the coherent words, actions, and thoughts may not always come about until a later time (maybe earlier if we primed to assess or look for different things). Depending on the specific situation and the other person, it can be pretty obvious, and other times it can much more subtle. Sometimes, it's somewhere on a spectrum. I appreciate the feedback though and I appreciate that Medium is taking a chance with my piece. Maybe I can elaborate more in a future piece....you're giving me some food for thought.